We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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