so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
