I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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