i think my tv is drunk
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
