i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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