you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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