no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
