im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize