Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
