Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I smell stomach acid.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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