I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
