K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
