We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
