my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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