Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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