I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
