Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
