Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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