I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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