i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
