I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
