Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
