Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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