that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
