I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
