there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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