You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
