I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
