I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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