I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
