Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is wine microwaveable?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
