you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
