Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
