EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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