i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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