I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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