More tranny stories later!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
