He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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