halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
