I could make wine with my vomit
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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