If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
