ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
