You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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