My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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