So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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