ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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