wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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