You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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