Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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