This is not my ceiling
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
