So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
