I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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