the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
