I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize