I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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