I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
