New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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