I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
A+ Viking dick
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