Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize