I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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