literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
