All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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