**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize