I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
