I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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