Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
